Mathews Fear
by Clare bear 48
Summary: In "Crossing the Line" Mathew was forced to come to terms with his decision.


**Mathew's Fear**

By Clare Quinn

**Disclaimer I do not own the characters in this story. I wish the people who did would use them and create new series. I have just borrowed the characters.**

**Abruptly!** Without any warning what so ever the roof of the mine shaft fell in. Dirt, dust, wood, rocks were engulfing everything as well as anyone who was underneath it in that instant. There had been no warning. No sounds down in the depths of this place, this living hell. Usually the woods creaked as the mine appeared to breath. Mathew and Jon had become accustom to these regular noises. Just before the cave in though there was no apparent warning.

Mathew was panting with fear his mind was out of control. Jon where was Jon? Jon had been right beside him just before the roof caved in.

He had to cover his mouth and nose from the choking dust it began to make him cough violently. He remembered Sully's bandana that he had around his neck to dry away the sweat. It was immediately pulled up over his mouth and nose. Thanks to the thoughtfulness of his mentor for giving him it. That was better he acknowledged. Everywhere was pitch black he had never been in such total darkness. The oil lamps nearby had been huffed out by the gust of wind created by the ceiling crashing down. It was darker than midnight as there were no stars or moon to illuminate the darkness. Just this terrifying wall of blackness engulfing him as he gazed around. Mathew could see nothing and he was scared stiff. Petrified and at the same time more terrified than at any time in his young life. His pulse and breathing were escalating with every passing second.

What was that a rumble NO! Not more of the wooden shoring collapsing. It didn't look good but _"hey yesterday and the past week had been fine"_ he remembered. _"They wouldn't send people deliberately to death would they"_ his mind screamed at him. _"Those miners were only striking for more pay right? Nobody really mentioned the mine being unsafe it was whispered though". _he continued to think.

Gradually his predicament was dawning in on his senses as he tried to move. Abruptly he realized he couldn't. Why he felt with his hands that he was in a large hollow damp down the bottom. Something heavy was pushing him down. Wood by the feel of it _"Oh No!"_ he panicked it must be a cross beam from the roof. Or could it be a boulder. It was pinning him down. Trapping his body was a beam using all the strength he could muster wouldn't budge it. Feeling around he decided it was a boulder he feeling trapping his leg. Gradually he was aware that there was water seeping slowly into the hole he was in. His cloths were getting wetter.

Yelling with his entire might he called _"Jon, Jon where are you?" _Listening *SILENCE* was his answer_. "Jon"_ he called again his voice sounding strange to himself as it had a tinge of fear in it. Where could Jon be he'd been next to him as the roof came down just moving off to get another drill bit? "_Oh! NO_" he couldn't be buried. Ingrid _"OH!"_ _No not another death in the family her Pa died of influenza how would she cope?"_ He thought.

Realization that even if Jon was only feet from him he wouldn't know he couldn't see or even move to help if he was buried.

Again terror rising like fingers into his whole being slowly it was engulfing all his senses. Chilling Mathew through to every bone of his being, then into the core of his very soul. Realizing he was alone... in hell.

His heart was thumping in his chest. His breathing was panting in small breaths making him feel giddy. Telling himself to calm down he needed to start to settle. "_**THINK" **_he screams to himself. Breath, Breath, Breath, slowly come on breath he tells himself while shaking.

"_Why was he here?'_' he thought "_it was for the love of his life Ingrid, wanting to be a man building their house it was their dream to become a family"._ He continued to think. Ingrid had changed his life he loved her from the moment he'd seen her when coming into town on the first day.

He had crossed the picket line and became a*SCAB*. He was so desperate to be grown up and show to everyone that he was responsible. The men had said that the mine was unsafe and that was why they had gone on a picket line. Men like him who had families to feed. What had he done? It was no good to dwell on this fact now. His mind was in over drive.

Ma had tried to make him see reason but he'd been rebellious and ignored everyone's advice. They didn't even know of the cave in did they? Colleen and Brian came to mind he felt responsible for them since their Ma died. Their new Ma was great but they were blood. But now he may have left them for good. He loved his family and Sully what if he could never tell them how much? What if he never saw them ever again? On and on his mind continued.

There would be men coming in to rescue those trapped surely? How long would it take? He hadn't any idea of time it's as it stood still.

Mathew began to think of a talk he'd had with Sully just a few days ago. Sully was shy and didn't like talking about himself especially the past. He only spoke or offered advice when and if he wanted to make a point Mathew knew this.

Sully had retreated from society after Abigail and the baby had died. He'd found peace again with the Cheyenne Indians. Mainly he kept his thoughts to himself unless it was necessary to speak.

"_Why had he disregarded Sully going out on a limb to tell him this?_" He thought.

Suddenly Mathew realized Sully cared deeply for him. Tears coming into his eyes with this realization like a smack in the face. Here in the silence he was able to replay the whole conversation.

"_Mathew"_ Sully had begun coming to the homestead he was building.

"_Sully"_ he'd replied

Continuing Sully said. _"Mind if we talk?"_

Inviting him to proceed _"Sure could use some company."_

"_Thanks."_ when offered water from the canteen Sully had continues hesitantly steeling himself for the revival of suppressed horror memories. Mathew was realizing this fact just now.

"_Not many people know this but I nearly died in a cave in... Summer of 59..._

_Not much older than you are now..._

_Working in a Silver mine up near Cripple Creek..._

_We'd just started our shift when it happened..._

_Thought they'd just dig us out didn't think it would take 22 days_... Mathew realized how ill Sully must have been at that moment dragging that memory forward.

_Air went bad right away... _

_Rats ate our food..._ Rats yes Mathew knew the rats now he thought.

_Couldn't sleep they'd be crawling on ya biting ya._

_Mine was full of water..._

_After a few days of wearing what cloths ya skin gets all soft and tears off every time ya move..._

_So after awhile ya just lay there thinking about dying..._this was when he could hardly hear Sully's voice he remembered.

_When the last candle was gone ya can't imagine how dark it got__**"**__. _Sully had finished and gone very quiet.

Mathew remembered smugly replying _"But ya got out didn't ya?"_

"_Guess I did" _Sully had replied softly.

Indignantly Mathew scoffed _"Nothing's goin to happen to me Sully ya wasted ya time comin ya can't change me mind"_

"_Figgard as much" _Sully hadreplied sadly.

"_So why'd ya come?" _Mathew said.

"_Give ya this ya goin to be needin it for the dust" _Sully forlornly said placing the pink bandana into his hand, it'd been his all those years ago. Sully had looked at him and just walked away. He'd had his say and that was all he could do. Sully hadn't included he was trapped with his leg under tons of rock. That Daniel his friend never gave up digging to help him escape.

Now what Sully had tried to explain had become a reality. This now caused him to become panicked again the breathing and heart rate escalating feeling out of control again. He had to try the breathing all over again.

There was a tunnel no shaft or stopes in this mine. The shored up tunnels gradually sloping downwards from the entrance just like fingers on a hand creeping on. Everything near were Mathew and Jon had been mining was dirt that was shored as they tunnelled in further. Mathew had never given mining another thought as it hadn't occurred to him as a job. Not until the strike and the opportunity of a good pay. Allowing their house to be completed in a couple of month's instead of a year or more.

Now his thoughts turned more urgently to whether he'd be rescued. The water was getting more in the indentation his body was in. He realized that that may have been the reason he'd even survived. Surely someone had begun to dig him out. Someone had to know he was down here.

...

Mean while on the surface. The cave in had irrupted though the entrance of the mine. Men and horses scattered from the entry as soon as they were free. Many had sustained injuries and others helped them escape. Pandemonium was everywhere along with sheer terror and panic.

Dr Mike, Sully and Coleen along with Dorothy were at the mine site. They immediately headed to the entrance when the alarm was sounded.

The union representatives declared that they would not assist with any rescues, until Sully pointed out that the trapped miners would be more than happy to join the union when saved. The union boss sped off to find Sully a map of the tunnel workings.

Meanwhile Dr Mike sent Colleen into town for all the supplies she could as well as raising the alarm to bring the town's assistance to the mine. She tried to reassure Colleen that Mathew would be safe trying to reassure her as well. Colleen sped off on horseback even though she rarely rode. She sped into town screaming in fear. After alerting everyone they all took on different responsibilities. They had experienced situations where the whole town was mobilized to rescues. This time they did not know how many were involved all Colleen had managed to say was there was a cave in at the mine. Many locals had joined in to get a little more money as the crops had failed in the spring and food was expensive. Mr Bray had increased prices.

All the men like a roll call Reverend, Loren, Horace, Hank all of them in the town grabbed wagons, food, blankets anything they thought would come in handy. Jake took Colleen's hand and they went to the clinic and cleaned it out. They became mobilized really quickly and headed out immediately to the mine site.

After arriving they were discussing strategies of teams and job allotments.

In the mean time Sully had scrutinized the mine maps. He was familiar with the lay out from past experience.

Michaela had seen Jon come out them Ingrid realized Mathew was still there in the mine had an instant asthma attack. Once there were others able to take over Michaela sort out Sully.

She found him with the maps. It took him a few seconds to hear her.

Suddenly the full force of what he was about to do hit him. His own feelings were surfacing quicker than he wanted. His stomach lurched and he had to swallow the bile that had come flooding up into his mouth. He'd vowed never to set foot in a mine again. He had to shove this thought down and away. Michaela needed him, to totally focus on her the woman he loved. The one he'd do anything for no matter what it took and to rescue Mathew.

He knew it was useless to deter her when she stated that she was going in as well. She could be stubborn and he knew this would be one of those times. Guiding her to a clothes line to swap her clothes. He encouraged her to change her skirt and petticoats into trousers as well as a jacket. Robert E, Horace and Jake located them and volunteered to accompany them as well. Jake when he knew the doctor was going reneged as he was suppositious on women and mines. Sully all the while having his own flash backs.

The union boss showed the small group the entrance closest to were Mathew was last seen. Further in they found an unconscious miner and Robert E and Horace retraced their steps to remove him from the unstable mine. Before they could re enter the mine there was another explosion blocking the entire entrance. Beginning the arduous task they set about to clear the debris.

...

The terror was rising within Mathew. He was feeling the full horror of his predicament with each passing second. The water in the hole was steadily rising and the realization that he may drown before being rescued besieged him. Sending his already alarmed senses into further over drive he was so scared. He could recognise the fear that he saw in Sully's eyes when he'd spoken to him days ago. Sully had been buried alive for 22 days.

He was going over and over how he loved his family and may never get the opportunity to tell them. Ingrid and what had happened to Jon? She loved him, he loved her and now they may never be together again.

Then finely calm descended in on him. He began to accept the inevitable outcome. He'd only really have till the water level covered him, he began to pray and felt that others where there praying for his safe rescue as well. They must know now he assumed, but why was it taking so long? He'd heard more explosions and other noises spasmodically through the time he'd been trapped.

...

Mean while outside everyone spent a few minutes praying and listening to Grace singing.

Then it was back to work clearing the entrance. Removing all wooden spars and boulders and any other debris blocking the entrance.

...

"_Michaela this way"_ Sully urged as she began to go off in the wrong direction.

Suddenly stopping and listening he pulled her to him.

In the distance they thought they heard a faint cry and a tapping sound.

"_Mathew_" called both Michaela the Sully.

Far off vibrating down the walls they heard the muffled call again. Then more dirt started falling from the ceiling. Sully grabbed Michaela and protected her with his body.

She started off down a tunnel before Sully redirected her once again. He understood how noise would echo around the walls appearing from the wrong direction. Like out in the woods when sound echoed around mountains.

Sully carried a lantern and Michaela her medical bag. Then they saw Mathew in the hole. Sully was quick to gauge the situation it had been part of his previous experience. Firstly removing the wooden beam that was holding Mathew down across his chest. Sully was dismayed at their predicament. Taking Michaels aside he explained the situation that Mathew may drown and they had to work fast. He left immediately to recover what he could find.

Mean while Michaela tried to comfort Mathew although she was petrified herself. As the seconds ticked by Michaela made a decision she'd have to remove Mathew's leg to free him.

Mathew couldn't believe what she was proposing. Shocked and alarmed he protested loudly. Seeing the instruments placed on the boulder just in front of his nose.

"_Sully" _she implored one more time revolted that she may have to carry out her plan.

Suddenly he was there stating he'd found *Black Powder* that he'd split the rock and get Mathew out that way. Aghast that Sully would even consider such a drastic plan she protested.

"I know what I'm doin I was a powder men. I'll use a little in this here crack and split the rock frein Mathew" he said.

Michaela was unsure Mathew although frightened and scared agreed it was better than losing a leg.

Urging Michaela to find something to cover Mathew from the blast Sully set the charge praying to the spirits for guidance. Not allowing himself the opportunity to slide backwards into unwanted memories.

All set he gently shoved Michaela behind a rock wall after she'd said she loved Mathew again. All set Sully gave Mathew's hand a squeeze. Mathew returning a silent thanks with his eyes before Sully covered him and set the fuse with the lantern. Before dashing behind the rock face himself he held Michaela and counted. It didn't ignite when he expected it to. Just as he was about to check it exploded.

Yelling at Michaela he would retrieve Mathew he gave her the lantern disappearing into the dense dust. Immerging and urging her to run, directing which tunnel to take to escape. All the while the tunnel was groaning and beginning to cave in behind them.

Running as fast as they could Sully with Mathew slung over his shoulder they made for the entrance. Suddenly they found the entrance blocked. Listening on the other side they heard men digging.

Yelling with their entire mite they were heard by Jake. All effort was put into freeing them. Every last man put the effort into freeing enough of a hole for them to squeeze out of. First Mathew the Michaela followed by Sully who was hearing the ominous sound of a total collapsing tunnel directly behind him. Spearing himself through the opening he yelled at everyone to run.

Relieved that they all got out alive they hugged each other as if there was no tomorrow.

Mathew appeared not be too badly injured and was grateful to see Ingrid again who refused to leave his side. Colleen and Brian were pleased to have the entire family together again. Sully became quiet and thanked the spirits for their help. Michaela went to him and sat with him holding his hand and giving it a squeeze for support.

The mine manager came in to offer jobs to those who'd survived Michaela stated "Desperate men are willing to work, not here, not today, not in our town" Even Loren refused to deal with them further.

The toll was four dead. Seventeen injured the town wouldn't forget in a hurry the day the mine collapsed.

Mathew shared with Ma Sully's story of his own survival and that night on the poach she held him while he let go of all the tension he'd held back during the trying day. She realized what it must have cost him to even enter the mine especially an unstable one. Sharing a tender kiss they sat for much longer than normal just holding each other.

**The end.**

Please review

...

.com/watch?v=sUjT2QE0O-s Please watch this and listen to the singer's words. Although it's coal a miner is a miner no matter what.

For my Dad who was a miner, my son and son in law who are open cut miners and all the miners in the world.


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